I have some very clear memories that haunt me and are definitely not from this time and age. I checked on some data I knew about and it turned out I was correct on quite a few things I couldn't possibly know about.
To this day I'm very careful to call it actual reincarnation though, because there could be other things at work. It feels like those memories are my own but maybe it's "passed on" to me because of an important lesson I should learn. Maybe, because of my sensitivity to energy, I pick up residues of people who have lived...I don't know. Maybe I should just accept the possibility of reincarnation.

What disturbs me most are the usually violent deaths; In three 'lifes' I was a soldier and did not make it to the end of the war always leaving a loved one behind. I therefore absolutely hate war with a passion and think it's useless although there is also a small part of me that feels strangely attracted to it.
The 'life' that I remembered first and is the most vivid one is being a confederate in the civil war. I knew dates and locations and even company numers; really freaky. Now if I would have been American this could have made some sense but I'm as Dutch as tulips and windmills and never had any interest in American history.

It also explains why I freak out when watching war-movies. It just gives me the creeps, especially when there are old fashioned cannons in there; I start sweating like a pig. I'm also very sensitive to loud noises; if somebody lights a firecracker near me I almost get a heart-attack and want to jump to the ground or punch that person.

I just don't like talking about it because most of those memories are very painful and I feel like a nutcase.

I'm not sure if I believe in reincarnation or not. With most experiences, I've tried to reason away why I might be thinking, feeling or remembering these certain things. I mean, I've tried to find other plausible reasons for them and not just reincarnation.

I've heard about memory being stored in DNA, and that could make sense.. if it is actually true. Or maybe it's just psychic energy of some kind passed down through generations somehow. Or maybe I'm picking up on some kind of consciousness from around the world... or maybe some people's vibrations (past or present even) are more in tune to me and I pick up these vibes like they are my own?
Sometimes, now I don't want to sound crazy, but sometimes it's really just like I house several people, I mean we're all... me... but it's like, no, it's a bunch of people that are all me. I know that sounds crazy, but that's how I feel. I never feel alone either, I am always 'with' myself, and... I could probably explain away all these things as something else, so I am hesitant to say it's reincarnation.
With reincarnation, would you really see it and experience it with your brain? If it was just your soul, wouldn't it just be an energy feeling or something else? OK maybe I have  idea what I'm taking about right now...

Anyway, there are some instances (and some have been very recent) where a picture or smell or something will bring me back instantly. I won't necessarily have an entire memory really, it's more like I have a picture of being in a certain place, and the feelings/emotions and everything else are SO strong that on the one hand I want to stay and revel in the eerie moment (eerie because it is so familiar) but on the other hand it is so intense that I don't know if I can handle it.
It is like, I missed this other me and that life SO MUCH that staying in this memory and moment is just... it's exciting and happy, but I can NEVER get enough, and it's too intense... so then I try to not think of it.

Like, most of these memories or whatever they are, have to do with places around the area of Hungary/Romania/Slovakia places like this... (I live in Canada, and have never been to any of these places) just thinking about it now is like woah...  just get very strong senses, like I'm still a girl but I'll be standing by a house, or in a room or graveyard or forest, and everything  is so real... like at first I take it for granted but I know that I've never really been there... but I get overly excited because of how I feel, and how it's so familiar, like achingly familiar... which is why I then am torn between staying in this memory/strong feeling, or ignoring it sort of.
And it's not always a memory of what I would think a place like this would be. I mean, I have heard stories of vampires from Transylvania, say... and that does intrigue me now, but these memories are not like that. They're like, crappy houses even, and worn paths with weeds and mountains, eeeeh... but I will see a picture of one of these places and all of the sudden I'm in one of my memories. or of course, I will randomly run into something where I live, like the way a friends house looks or a smell or a piece of jewellry, and I'll be in a place like that...  and it will be so strong.

I'm not sure, the mind is a powerful and wonderful thing. Maybe it can take stimuli and things from my childhood and weave strong, intense feelings and images when I'm introduced to certain things, and so they trigger "memories" and so on... who knows. But even while I write this I don't know if that can be true, because it's not really ME me in these feelings but like, a different older me, I don't know if I'd say a truer me, but another me which is very much at the core of a part of me... ok I give up trying to explain.
All I know is that some of my family is from Poland, and a whole lot from Germany, and it's very possible that my fathers side is from other places and people migrate anyway... so maybe these are memories of theirs? Or psychic energy of some sort that I am picking up? Or I really have like... other consciousnesses or me's in... me? But I a way I think we're all the same, so... maybe this is me experiencing other versions of everyone?


Ok. please excuse me if I am not making a whole lot of sense. I tried!! All this stuff is just very confusing sometimes...