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September 08, 2008, 05:16:44 AM
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Author Topic: When is love really gone?  (Read 224 times)
Zurayel
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« on: July 05, 2008, 11:00:45 PM »

Not to do a lot of blabbering or grumbling, but my lady friend of the last six years and I have started having problems. We went from best friends to almost worst enemies in a matter of a month. Does anyone have any thoughts that might help. Maybe something I haven't thought of.
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Great spirits have often encountered violent opposition from weak minds.  -- I never think of the future. It comes soon enough."  -- Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one." -- Albert Einstein
Mystery
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« Reply #1 on: July 06, 2008, 08:42:36 PM »

Since I don't know either of you, definate advice would be useless for the most point.

however, in regards to your subject headline, I can say that love is gone when:

real communication has broken down (this may require some sort of outside counceling)

when trust, respect, and honor has fallen to the wayside (at this point, rectifying things may be impossible, but one could try by working on the previous problem).

Good luck to both of you. Losing love is always a tremendous stress and deeply sad time.
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Dinaer
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« Reply #2 on: July 07, 2008, 03:10:07 PM »

The way I see it, it isn`t a matter of love and hate.. what makes both vague, and can be even more hurting and hearttearing is indifference..

Dinäer
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Vaienia
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« Reply #3 on: July 08, 2008, 12:18:26 AM »

I think I'd have to agre with Dinaer and Mystery in all that they said.

There is no way to say anything for sure as far as advse is concerned, because as stated, I don't know either of you. It would be unfair and unjust to do so, even if you explained the situation.

But answering your question about when is the love gone...

...as Mystery said, when communication fails and qualities such as trust, patience, respect, loyalty, etc. are lacking or have faded completely, it is then that the term love needs to be reviewed by both party members.

Also, something I have had much experience in is this: It might not be that the love is gone, just that it has changed. There are many different ways to love someone. And you can love someone without being in love with them. And when one partner is in love and the other simply loves...it can lead to many difficulties in the relationship.

All that I have to give you in the way of advice, after stating what I have, is simply this:

Communicate. Both people need to be honest and freely give their opinions, thoughts, and ideas about every aspect of the relationship. Without communication, no relationship, be it work-based, friend-based, or love-based,  will last.

I hope everything turns out for the better for you both.
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Zurayel
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« Reply #4 on: July 12, 2008, 08:05:09 PM »

Thank you all for your thoughts and being honest. The trust is gone on my part. I do not want to put anyone down but I have caught onto some lies. That's why I posted this thread. There is no communication and that's what I was most despaired about. I have more aspects and views to consider now. Thanks again for your words.
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Great spirits have often encountered violent opposition from weak minds.  -- I never think of the future. It comes soon enough."  -- Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one." -- Albert Einstein
TheVampyreNico
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« Reply #5 on: July 12, 2008, 08:52:16 PM »

I am so sorry that you lose your friendship with her. I hope in time you will heal from this and seek out love that is meant for you my dear friend.
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Farewell until the next time we speak again my friend.
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