How often do we say something positive to someone?

[Arya Kalarathri]

Before I continue, I just want to say this is not a statement against constructive criticism or things of that nature. However...

How often do we say something positive? A while back, I was with my friend Devi and I noticed nothing but compassion and sweetness from her. I noticed this after a while of knowing her. I decided to one day give her a compliment on these traits, and she told me I was too kind to say such. Truth be told, I was just being honest about what I saw, even if it was just my experience with her.

Tonight, I began to reflect on things, and I have came to the conclusion that sometimes, I think we live in a negative world. We give the positive maybe fifteen minute screen time, and then we either focus on the negative or do not focus on anything at all. This is not just the media, but in general.

I am not immune to moments of being unable to say something positive. However, I think that is even more reason for me to have brought this topic up.

Do we focus too much on the negative? How often do we really think about saying something positive?




Namaste.

Sincerely,
Arya Kalarathri

[MacabreWhispers]

I'm always being positive, ever since I heard a story in 8th grade about a man who wrote in his suicide note that if not one person tells me something positive, or even smiles at me then I will kill myself and if someone does, I wont. In the end he did end up committing suicide. It touched me so much that now I always have to say something positive, and I do truthfully. I even go up to strangers and says something and I smile at everyone. You never know what people might be thinking or if people are hiding behind a mask.
I always focus on the positive. I rarely think negatively due to the fact that I believe if someone thinks or focuses on the negative to much, everything will still continue to be negative.
That, and I love my life and the people in it to much to think negatively.

[ShadowMind]

I think we live in a negative world.

There are a lot of disturbing and negative things in this world. However, there is as much positive if you are seeking it. The media has trained us to note those elements that are bad. It is what is newsworthy. The horrible and shocking are what get noticed, not kindness nor happiness nor positive success. You must seek those things and you will not see that (often) through media outlets.

Because the vast majority of what we are bombarded with seems negative, it does tend to promote such behaviour in a lot of people. I see it at work. I have made an effort to note the good that happens though. I surround myself when possible with upbeat, positive people. My practice also helps me note the good in life. I try and promote positive feedback and help when I can. I do believe that such actions can have a ripple effect. It begins with one person…

ShadowMind

[M4ng4man]

I say something positive every hour of every day. I've even made a promise to a dear friend of mine: "I promise, that every day, I will make you smile or laugh once, and if I can't, then I'm not a very good friend to you."
So far so good, I've kept my promise and I don't intend to let her down.
Part of this negativity, is because we're born into it nowadays and we grow up with it. As young children, we are sheltered by our families or guardian(s) from the evils of the world, trapped in a comforting bubble. As soon as we're exposed to it, it seems like we just have to adapt, so we evolve mentally and emotionally with being negative, looking for the bad and disregarding the good, just so as there's so much bad in comparisson to good, so we grow to be bad people from the examples shown throughout the world.
Personally, I find myself as a good person, and it helps to take the good and bad together. We just need to look for the real role models, who do great deeds to make our world better and follow their example.
I find these morals to help me personally:
1. No smoking, drinking or taking illegal drugs. These just help me be a better person.
2. Don't let others try to influence my own decision. Sure, tsome may have a better understanding or knowledge than myself, but it doesn't mean they're better than me.
3. Don't pass false judgement. You cannot judge someone you don't know, as you don't understand who they are.
4. Take the bad with the good. Very good to be passive at some times, good to speak out in others and often, not to say anything at all.
These help me out a lot when I need guidance. I must encourage though NOT TO FOLLOW my morals, but to craft your own best fitted to you. You must be your own person, and I am not you, n'or can I speak for any of you, so you have your own morals and beliefs to create and follow. So I'm sure if you do what's right for you, then you will all turn out to be good people.

[Allin]

There was once an age and a time when my Grandmother used to say "if you don't have something nice to say about someone, don't say anything at all". It seems rather elementary in form, yet in manner in today's world that remains entirely another matter. Media aside, social form aside and culture set aside given that its rather widely accepted that the sources of the interpersonal ills we witness come from all of these and more, I'll well support the words spoken previously that depict a sound and a learned level of personal responsibility to adopt the hue and the tone of the life one truly wishes to live and to create as a means of their ongoing existence by and through what one says and what one does to oneself and to others.

One sacrosanct lesson I learned from a wise person a very long time ago also seemed so elementary in its form, yet so rarely observed. "A person is responsible for everything they put out there ahead of them in this world." If this is in word, then so be it. If this is by fist, or a foot, so be it. If this is a manipulation of another persons life, so be it. I rather doubt that people as a whole have suddenly adopted ill manner but as also spoken previously, we hear about it so much more now.

All of this aside, I do so agree with the idea that if one spends his or her time in proceeding chaos, inevitably this is what they will live in. If one spends his or her time focusing on a sense of some degree of positivity in their daily life, this is what they will experience. Certainly not as a whole, but it truly does make a daily cup of existence taste a lot better if someone speaks kindly and positively about who you, we and they all are instead of endlessly searching for the negatives.

There really is enough of the negatives of the world available to take care of themselves.

Great topic!

Peace>

Allin>

[Heyoka]

Do we focus too much on the negative?

I think that depends on who "we" are. I know of some people personally that have a very difficult time saying something nice about, well, anything. Always looking for an easy way around life, always on the defensive, always itching for a confrontation.

On the other hand, I know a lot of people that couldn't say anything bad about, well, anything, sometimes to the point of being sickening, you know, the sort of people that have turned their cheek so many times that they're raw from being slapped.

And I know even more people still that have been able to find that all important sense of balance...(take note of that word folks), taking in enough information about both the good and the bad, neither soaking themselves in information nor ignoring it.
Just enough oblivion, just enough input. Too much of anything can be, well, unhealthy and unbalancing.

And...

How often do we really think about saying something positive?

Every freakin' opportunity I get! Believe it or not, and it took a long time to realize this, nobody benefits from a negative comment, negative thought, negative look.
However, taking the reverse of that path brings forth a strength and energy that is unbounded and quite frankly, much more beneficial to everyone. The person casting the positive thought feels good for having done it, the person or persons on the receiving end feel better because that positive energy is encouraging/aiding/"healing" them, those who are fortunate enough to be in between benefit because, believe me, they'll feel the warmth and the strength of what's being shared.

And you know what? It doesn't cost a thing to do either... maybe a moment or two of your time, but hey, what's that in a lifetime?

Smile at someone and encourage them, whether you know them or not.
Watch what the positive energy does.... it can be pretty amazing.

heyoka